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My Spouse Was Arrested for Domestic Violence — What Do I Do?

A sensitive, judgment-free guide for spouses and partners navigating this difficult situation.

This is one of the most emotionally complicated situations a family can face. Whatever happened — and whatever your feelings are right now — you have questions that need real answers. There is no judgment here.

What Happens After a Domestic Violence Arrest in California?

Mandatory Arrest Policy

California law requires police to make an arrest if they have probable cause to believe domestic violence occurred. Even if you do not want your spouse arrested, the officer must act if they see signs of a disturbance.

72-Hour Emergency Protective Order (EPO)

When someone is arrested for domestic violence, officers almost always issue an Emergency Protective Order. This order typically lasts 5–7 days and prohibits contact between the arrested person and the protected party.

This means: even if you want your spouse home immediately, they may be legally prohibited from returning to your shared residence until the EPO expires or is modified by a judge.

Bail and the EPO Are Separate

Posting bail does not remove the protective order. Your spouse can be released from jail but still legally prohibited from coming home until a judge modifies or lifts the EPO at the arraignment hearing.

Can You Drop the Charges?

In California, domestic violence charges are prosecuted by the District Attorney’s office — not by the victim. Even if you decide you do not want to press charges, the state can and often does proceed with prosecution.

What you can do is speak with an attorney about your rights as a witness and possible courses of action.

Should You Still Post Bail?

Yes — and here is why.

Your spouse can work on their defense from the outside rather than from a jail cell
They can maintain employment, protecting your family financially
They can attend counseling or treatment programs, which courts view favorably
They can be present and engaged with any children during this process
Release does not mean the case is over, but it vastly improves their ability to navigate it

How Bail Angels Handles Domestic Violence Cases

Our all-female team approaches every domestic violence case with the utmost sensitivity and confidentiality.

We will never judge you or your family for what happened
We will explain the EPO and what it means for your specific situation
We will process bail quickly and discreetly
We will connect you with information about next legal steps

What If You Are Afraid?

If you are afraid for your safety or the safety of your children, please know that resources exist. Bail Angels is here to post bail — but your safety always comes first.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233.

Need Help Right Now? Call Bail Angels — 24/7

Our compassionate, bilingual team is ready to help — day or night. (619) 270-2300
We walk you through every step in plain English or Spanish and start your loved one’s release immediately.